fat and a fat number of pages-both good things!

Looking into pregnancy and birth options (just 4 funzies so far!) for larger women I am APPALLED. Infuriated. While many of the articles are decent now, do not read the comments. According to regular old (skinny? maybe) asshole mcgee-you are gross; so gross you don't deserve to live-have sex-have babies. Your fat is so displeasing to look upon that it endangers your child's life (nevermind the scientific evidence says it does not! ) Such are the sounding boards of people who can not demystify the all-powerful causation does not equal correlation mystery. How very impressive (your bigotry, I mean.)

I've never seen the anti-fat movement in such a frenzy, never seen them go for blood so ravenously. And I've been fat my whole life.

They remind me oh so much of the "infected" in my novel. Bloodthirsty, nearly brainless, so eager to please and be rewarded, and so very ravenous to injure.

I'm fat. I don't always eat what I should. Most of my really bad treats I make myself. But I exercise everyday (I have two young children, we are ALWAYS outside). I'm fairly certain I'll always be fat. I'm also happy, with a (slim) husband who adores me. I also happen to realize I'm quite beautiful. A very FAT kind of beautiful.
I won't apologize.

I also hit the 50,000 plus word mark tonight. I'm not done by any means, but thats a good (marketable) mark to hit. If I can wrap it up by 80,000 I'll be delighted. It feels good to hold that manuscript in your hands when it weighs something-when those pages are so numerous as to feel like (a very naked) book.

and i should probably go to bed.

been a long time!

We have a son, Kirin Taiho, now (yes I was indeed pregnant! Thank goodness for the 2 year gap. And yes despite having the "perfect" (boy and girl duo) we'd do it again too! When asked why, all I can tell you is that our children are uniquely awesome. And the world is a better place because they exist. (they are the children of my full of super-hero like goodness husband, afterall). Of course being honest, I do think having had trouble conceiving impacted us, as did our pregnancy loss the first time around. My ob always asked if we would consider having four. I think we would. Honestly. And wouldn't it be refreshing to see a happy fat girl with a bustling traditional house full of kiddos and a sweet husband? Stuff of dreams I tell you.

I pretty much gave up on continuing the university, after being jerked around alot and facing the possiblity of time away from our family (and watching beloved friends go DEEEEP into debt to hold that second piece of paper, and it makes me wish I'd been more thoughtful on all the work we had to do just to get our associate piece of paper-and how stupid it is to measure your worth with that 50,000 piece of paper). My husband works so hard, taking away our time together or with our children right now is unfair at best and not something I want for a degree in an industry that doesn't care for it as much as it cares for what YOU can DO-so I've zeroed in on what I can do. And the book is so close to finished. Danny has helped me edit, kept me on course. I obviously won't be using much of my time to update on here between writing and our daily stuff-and Kai is 3 now and starting a bit of preschool homeschooling.

So I'll drop in to say if something else life-changing happens.

Love-me